WISHLESSNESS

Last week I came across an article describe several techniques for helping with pain and other physical discomfort. One practice suggested was using imagination to transport yourself to a pleasant place.

I mean SERIOUSLY??? Can such an imagination relaxe your body and ease uncomfortable symptoms.

Well no harm in trying right?
So as per the technique, I use my own special or favourite place as my spot of imagination. That with no doubt is Kasauli. The first hill station I ever visited in my life, where for the very first time I saw clouds meet the earth,  various shades of colors in the sky, a twin rainbow..wooooowwww.
Though I had been there with my family I’d spend hours there alone in the silence among the mountains during the early mornings and late nights, for three days, the best ever moments of my life. I was happy and content just to be there and feel the peace in that world so different from here that was full of chaos.

Because I’ve been chronically ill since May, I’ve not been to Kasauli inspite of wishing every moment to go back and get soaked in that peaceful atmosphere.

So now thats my “go to” place when I want to use imagery to mentally transport myself to a pleasant environment, as per the aforesaid technique.

A few days back, I was lying on my bed in considerable physical discomfort, due to a severe seizure which lead to a total paralysis of both my arms, right leg and neck which I kept falling and i jus couldn't hold it up nor sit up.
So I thought of trying the aforesaid technique. I brought Kasauli to mind. I pictured myself sitting on the hill top balcony with my legs dangling through the railings feeling the chilled air under my feet; I imagined myself lying on my back watching the calm serene blue sky, watching vehicle moving around the mountains like toy cars.
Overall a peaceful feeling of well-being arose.

I’ve recalled those moments in Kasauli a hundreds of times since i been back from there but for some reason, this time, something different happened. I suddenly realized that it didn’t matter where I was physically for me to experience the type of pleasantness I associate with Kasauli.

I was feeling it right at that very moment—lying on my bed!

And this is not just any bed; it’s the bed I often think of as my sick bed. Despite this, I felt a joy that was suffused with a feeling of peace and contentment. I found myself thinking: “Being on the bed is okay with me.” Then to my surprise, I said to myself, “and there’s no place I’d rather be.”

Whoa! No place I’d rather be than on this bed? Then what about Kasauli? What about the beautiful mountains of Himachal that are only a couple of hours from where I live, where I have always craved to go?

At that moment, they didn’t matter. It’s important to note that I knew I was on my bed and not at Kasauli. In fact, that’s what made it such a powerful experience: I was content to be where I was, as I was, meaning that it was okay that I was on my bed and it was okay that I was chronically ill and with such minimum mobility only to make it to the washroom!

The only way I can describe this experience is to say it was a moment of WISHLESSNESS!!!

My humble understanding from this experience is that what matters to my well-being is my state of mind not the conditions around me, including where I am physically.

U might be thinking is it not an obvious lesson? But it’s not easy to feel this way all the time, atleast for me since I feel low most of the time of the day.

I’ve spent hours on this bed (from which I’m scribbling this and such others) wanting to be anywhere but on this bed. This is why what I felt was life-changing...for me.

Books as well as the wiser loved ones in my life have taught time and again that things intellectually, such as “Happiness and contentment aren’t dependent on where I am physically.”
But it’s only when an experience breathes life into an idea that it’s internalized. Then profound change is possible. Such was the experience I had on my bed that day.

Do I always experience the peaceful contentment of “no place I’d rather be” when I’m on my bed now? NO.

But I feel as if I’m on my way toward being able to get back to that place of WISHLESSNESS.

Sometimes all it takes is for me to recall the experience I had that day. Other times it takes a bit more: I have to consciously do the imagery practice—not forcing that “mental switch” to come, but allowing it to arise naturally as I imagine myself at Kasauli n then realize that the sense of well-being and contentment I’m feeling is actually taking place on my bed.

I’m deeply grateful for this experience. I hope it wasn't boring for you to read about this beautiful experience of mine - Wishlessness 😊.