Finding meaning in a life with chronic illness!

A few days back I chanced upon a write up addressed a very captivating thought that,  it is more important to live a meaningful life than to be happy.  

Modern brainwaves of happiness are based on self fulfillment, and amusingly I have felt that the more we pursue happiness the less happy we are, isnt it? That is why rather than aiming for a happy life, now I am aiming to live a meaningful life...yeah of course with this chronic illness. Actually all of us has a meaning in our life when we find a purpose.

 It forthwithly struck upon me how this idea can be connected with being chronically ill. When we are sick it can sometimes be difficult to be happy, but we can still find meaning.

Happiness without meaning characterizes a relatively shallow, self-absorbed or even selfish life, in which things go well, needs and desire are easily satisfied, and difficult or exhausting complexities are avoided.

Now when your life has been derailed by chronic illness you get used to things not going well and as expected ofcourse. Sickness involves a lot of entanglements and presents a lot of difficult situations.  I am sick, what can I do about it? So what is my purpose? How can I live a meaningful life with my changed circumstances?

Now when my life has turned upside down I have noted too often that many things, the society tells me, are important and that bring us happiness are no longer available to us. So I need to find a new purpose, an alternative meaning. Maybe it's my family, maybe it is advocacy for a disease, maybe it's raising awareness, creating art, counseling others etc..something!
But at the same time I need to make sure I don't get dragged down into thinking "what's the point of even existing because I am so completely useless 😁."

I won't lie, at times I've been dragged down into thinking that I'm totally useless to everyone😨.
However, now I need to not wallow in that thought. While I may not be useful in the ways society tells me I should be, I can find places to be of use and I can still find meaning in my life as well as that of others.

I have found meaning through my family, through my children, and through writing my thoughts down. Though I have ups and downs in my happiness, I know that I have a purpose and that I have a meaningful life, and that is more important to my self worth than anything else.

I am falling in love with this new life of mine! 😀