My wings...torn from feeling isolated and different from my friends and family. My wings...bruised and scarred from the IVIG treatments, litany of medicines and their unmeasurable side effects, weight gain, intermittent paralysis making me differently abled, at times unexpected... my wings became so bruised and weak that I started to think..or rather believe at one point, I might never fly again.
But NO! Even with my bruised, scarred and sometimes broken wings, I am still managing to keep flying. And despite the hurt, I am still carrying hope in my heart...m still carrying joy...still carrying my dreams….
But realistically... can I really fly with these wings? Yes I can because I have been sharing my story...my experiences..my pain with all who mattered to me. I wasnt hiding behind my shame for not being healthy and able, as the rest....no more!
I m not wearing any mask to hide my broken smile so that my loved ones could see my heartache.
Most importantly I did not want to fly alone, but together with the beloved people in my life..because people need people.
I have accepted the fact that I need others to help me carry some of the weight so that I am free to soar high above my circumstances....high above my hopelessness...high above my fears and doubts. I want to fly with others to keep those dreams, that God has purposefully planted inside the soft, fertile soil of my heart, alive.
I believe God wants me to not only water those dreams with my tears that I shed while calling out to him, but also to cultivate my dreams through the faith, support and words of encouragement from my loved ones...YOU.. so that they can grow.
Honestly the second someone whispers encouragement into my ear in the form of a message or card or a hug or a prayer... I somehow seem to rush to grab it...trust me it helps me to move forward.
I guess God knows this about me…and you…
He doesn’t want me to feel alone...that is why He has placed you in my path to mend my broken wings so that I can fly a little bit higher...soar a little bit longer. He wants me to share my thoughts and feelings with you so that you can provide me the strength and the momentum I need to keep hoping that things can change... to keep my belief that they will, alive!
Even with bruised broken wings I am not alone... And I know I don’t have to travel this journey alone.
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