A life lived.

Yesterday when I was waiting for my turn to meet the doctor in the madly crowded OPD hall at AIIMS I looked around at all those waiting with different ailments and different expressions on their face. 
After almost three hours of waiting and staring at all those around me I realised what underlines us all is that we must all live our lives as well as we can, no matter what comes our way. 

As human beings we have very little choice in the manner that we come into this life. We don’t get to choose our parents, our siblings, our relatives or our homes. From that moment we arrive we are learning how to cope and make the most of whatever we have and whatever life hands us. 

While waiting in the queue I saw there were three more patients suffering from myasthenia gravis, all in their late fifties and accompanied by their spouses and sons/daughters. I was the only one in mid thirty and accompanied by my husband and two aged fathers.
At that moment I realised although we may share many common experiences from ailment point of view ( the three hours of waiting had weakened our back and almost got our heads between our knees), we are still unique in this world. Whatever happens in our lifetime we are always a life lived. 

I further realised our bodies are merely the vessels and receptacles for all our life's work and dreams. Our passions, our loves, our interests and our experiences all reside at the center of our being.

No matter what happens in between the birth and the final end, what matters at the end of it will be the life thats lived.

Sometimes the plans and hopes we may have for these lives can be changed forever and in an instant. But still its only life that we can truly call our own. 

I find this thought very comforting when I feel lost in the challenges that I may be facing and questioning what purpose and meaning my life may have.  It seems more fair to me when I think that all lives are a mixture of chance, choices and constant change. 

It is somewhat ironic then that it is when we feel in control and in command of our lives that something will happen to REMIND US THAT WE ARE NOT. We can never take anything about this life for granted. Nor allow ourselves to think we are superior to another life by virtue of our current circumstances. 

I would never have dreamed this life and where it has taken me. What I have seen and what I have felt. When I look at those around me and those I know and love, I am reminded that they too don’t know what awaits them around the corner. 

I sincerely pray and hope it’s not pain, or suffering, or misfortune but these things could happen to anyone of us at any second. Just as something pleasant or fulfilling may be a moment away. Yet we sleep, we eat, we breath, we dream and we do what we can from day to day. Despite the odds and chances of whatever lays ahead. 

To those like me who must bare the burden of pain and hardship caused by ill health, it is not an easy reality that I face and there are so many times I have wished that it wasn’t my reality. I would gladly trade my illness for any other challenge in life, but I guess that wasn’t to be my odds or my path. 

I didn’t get blue eyes, I wasn’t born left handed. I didn’t grow up in a chalet in France and I happen to be one of many millions of people who contracted a life long illness. 

Despite all these things I still have my one and only life. Just as precious as yours. And just as worthy as the next persons.  

Who will love me, who will meet me, who will value me and who will remember me are things that I may not have a lot of control over… But… How I love me, who I remember and how I live out the remaining years will be down to me and the great unknown. 

I still intend it to be a life lived. 
Now I am true to myself and my passions. I have accepted all my past and have made a life out of what life has handed and what my heart truly enjoys. 

Have a wonderful weekend and live ur life to the fullest!