I want to be Phoenix!

As a child I had read about the mythical powers of a Phoenix to rise from the ashes and be born again. I found it quiet enduring as a symbol of rebirth.
At the same time I view it as an amazing metaphor for living through the trials and tribulations that life brings to us.  Don’t you think so too?
But is this always achievable for  chronically ill / Autoimmunes like me to  reinvent myself or do I have to live in the ashes.
When our bodies continue to decline and every day is a test of our endurance, can we really call this an evolving life? 

Comparing my life now, on a purely physical basis, to the life I had it can feel a lot like I am living with the ashes. But if I compare to my life now to my previous life am I letting this other life truly evolve? 

I do have a lot more physical limitations and hardships in this life, which forces me to put in a lot of effort and work a lot harder to take care of this body. I dont think this can be termed as evolution...its a lot more like  maintenance to me😬!

And… I do see many changes... not evolution 😑 in my social life and circumstances compared to my previous life. This has also meant that I have to choose more wisely about who I spend my time on and my time with. 

BUT there have also been a whole new world of people and personal growth that has been opened up to me through this trial by fire. People I would have never met before.  Things I would have taken for granted before. Wisdom I may have never gained on my previous life course. 

So should I view this life as a rebirth, renewal, an evolution or will I spend my life amongst the ashes of the old life?

… But I truly want to be the Pheonix😆! 

I truly want to reinvent myself and be and do everything possible in this new form. I want to find new opportunities and depth that may never have been available to me in my old stressful, workaholic, success driven, angst ridden, control freak, anxiety riddled, competitive and confident life. 

I want to evolve. 

And maybe that is the way that I need to be in order to get there.  Because I truly want to rise bad enough. 

I also hope for all of us out there, living with life long health challenges, and I hope that there is a little Pheonix in us all. Always waiting to rise again from the fire and the pain and always being able to start again with new hope and new purpose.