Before I bury my reminiscences of 2016 I want to thank it for making me a chronically ill patient (through myasthenia gravis, urticaria, bronchial asthma, migraines and psychogenic nonepileptic seizures) taking away my freedom and at the same time teaching me what life is, actually, all about and most importantly what is the right way to value and live my life!
After spending eight odd months of 2016 spending most of my time in the hospital, getting umpteen number of tests ending with swollen needle marks throughout my body, battling to get a diagnosis, getting 30 bottles of plasmas infused in my blood to relax the flares of Myasthenia Gravis, getting back my life slipping out of my hands, hurting, bleeding and humilating myself with psychotic nonepileptic seizures ( PNES ), whining about being disabled and being dependent on others, proving how sick I was to those who could not understand my invisible disability, feeling jeolous of others freedom and enjoying the life, and thereafter entering the positive world of colors, writing, self healing, etc...now finally I have come to realise that I HAVE NO TIME TO WASTE!!!!
My life has changed with these chronic incurable ailments and I really can't rewind it or wipe it off. My body doesnt really care whether I like it or not. But my body has taught me not to wait for a tomorrow and instead CARP E DIEM!!! SEIZE THE DAY!!!!!
Honestly its now I realise God has given me a second chance to live again and so I am now determined to MAKE IT BIG!
Being a Myasthenic, I am now very well aware of my limitations and stock of energy. So listed below are my plans for having a meaningful 2017...I dont want to plan for life..let's go step by step!
♡ So my first step towards my aim to live a fulfilling 2017 was Prioritisation!
Setting my priorities straight would help in utilizing my limited energy on the really important stuff like my kids, their studies, things I love to do to keep my morale high,etc. So I quit my compulsive urge to be everything for everyone.
♡Next was accepting my body! Having a positive bodyimage was very much required to love and respect myself! Being fat with not being able to excercise, having a moon face gifted by the steroids and looking twice my age... really the worst possible thing that could happen to me! No doubt I would like to go back to size M from XXL...but as on date I am focused only on the way I am today..on how I can enjoy all the wonderful things that us still left with me! I am done wasting my time whining about what or how I was!
♡ Thirdly I have started putting my efforts to weed out the unwanted namesake relationships and friendships! What would be left may be just a handful..but I am sure they would the most amazing people who are meaningful or supportive...whom I would treasure!
♡ Fourthly now I firmly believe that I dont have to be busy all the while to prove my worth or to have a meaningful life! I am learning the art to stay still, breath, live each moment mindfully, enjoy silence and solitude! No more scheduling every minute of my life..just focus and practice to simply enjoy each moment as it comes. I now aim to sincerely and deeply be grateful for any life experience that comes my way.. be it in any form..whether a medication or a treatment or day chilling with my family..and be grateful for all that God had granted me!
♡ Fifthly to just let go, laugh more, forgive myself and most importantly to BELIEVE in God, myself and miracles! I know that without the Almighty I am nothing and with his grace and the blessings and best wishes of my loved ones there’s nothing unachievable for me! This fifth point has helped in loosening the chains on my life helping me to move ahead taking tiny whiny steps!
With the above five pointers we can transform our life into a realisation..of loving and being loved and of clearly understanding and acknowledging the fact that no matter how sick and disabled we are.. we still are precious, beautiful, gifted and valuable to many..mark my words...many.. who are happy to have you alive with them! Because they draw strength from you!
So all my dear friends sailing in similar boats like me..please remind yourself that we are a lot more than how we look and what we do. Our work and our worth are totally distinct.
So let's begin this new year on a note of happiness, positivity and self respect!
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